Ben, Michelle, Luke, Ian & Adam: Adam's Birth Story

(*Disclaimer* This is Ben...I read through what Michelle remembers of the birth story and I feel it doesn't accurately portray my involvement. So I will insert my comments between paragraphs. )

I had been hoping that Adam would be born on Saturday of that week. My mom was already here and my dad was staying for the weekend. Ben would be done with work for the week. It seemed perfect but I knew it wouldn't happen. At my 38 week appointment, I was only 1cm dilated, so I thought for sure, I would have to endure this awful Summer heat for another week. My parents bought a fun trampoline/swing set for the boys to keep them busy this Summer as we would be staying home a lot with a new baby. On Friday, my dad and I spent hours putting it together in the small corner of shade in our backyard. When we finished I took a few bounces on the trampoline, hoping to get this baby moving in the right direction! Little did I know, it may have done the trick.

Saturday morning, I woke up feeling good. A few contractions but nothing I hadn't already been having. I got out of the shower at 9:30am and started timing the contractions. They were about 10 minutes apart but nothing more than annoying. I had wanted to go somewhere, show my parents something fun in Seattle but they (Ben and my parents) convinced me we should stay close to my hospital. I wanted a distraction, so we went to "Red Birdie" for lunch.

(Ben) Michelle didn't just want to go somewhere and show her parents Seattle. She wanted to drive to Leavenworth, WA. That is hours away over a mountain pass. No. Then she wanted to go into downtown Seattle. Traffic in Seattle is an exercise in patience and I had nightmares of delivering my baby with my right hand while in bumper to bumper traffic driving with my left. No. I suggested the hospital. We compromised with Red Robin.

My contractions started to get more intense and more frequent...about 7 minutes apart. I had my phone handy, keeping track of them. I tried to stay off the topic of my contractions. I was trying not to jinx myself...this really couldn't be happening. It was too perfect and early. My contractions were irregular...sometimes 7 minutes apart, then suddenly 15 minutes. In my head, I thought for sure they would send me home if I went to the hospital now. But I was starting to have to breathe through the contractions. I remember pushing my feet hard into the floor...always looking down so people would know not to talk to me. One contraction I glanced up to see our waiter walking toward our table but as he saw me, he turned right around and walked away. I guess a pregnant lady in labor can be kind of intimidating.

(Ben) As we were leaving the restaurant Michelle's Dad pulled me back and asked if we should go to the hospital. I said something to the equivalent of she is stubborn. He replied that she gets that from him. I was starting to think about ways I could trick her to the hospital without her knowing.

We finished lunch but I was still convinced the contractions would stop...I needed a distraction. And walking was SO much better than sitting. We had bought new phones that week and I still needed a case for my phone. So I made everyone go to Best Buy. Again, my contractions seemed erratic at best. Sometimes 5 minutes apart, then 18 minutes apart. But they hurt. I had to grab onto Ben's arm and bury my head in his shoulder. My mom was looking at me...she didn't have to say it but I knew she was wondering why we were still shopping. I feel like I scared my dad :) But I got a case for my phone and decided it was best to go home now.

Once home, Ben, my dad and Luke went to get haircuts. My mom stayed home with Ian and me. I tried to lay down and rest but it was so uncomfortable to lay down. So I folded laundry. It started to get "real" at this point. During contractions I was leaning over the bed, up on my tippy toes, trying to breathe. But again, the timing was never consistent. I was texting my friend Holly, an L&D nurse, trying to decide if I should go to the hospital. And again, the contractions seemed to stop. I talked to my mom, frustrated and unsure. Ben came home and I was still convinced the hospital wouldn't keep me. Finally, it had been 20 minutes since my last contraction. I thought for sure, they had stopped. In defiance of my body playing this mean trick on me, I sat down with Luke and Ian to watch a movie...it was 5:30pm. Suddenly a horrible contraction hit. I jumped off the couch because again, it was so horribly awful to be sitting during a contraction. This one HURT. I tried to lean over the couch to find a comfortable position and even started to groan through the pain. As it ended, I remember looking at Luke, looking at me. I felt like I was scaring him and I didn't want to scare him. FINALLY, that contraction was "real."

(Ben) Ok so I went and got a haircut. That was a really bad idea, but she had convinced me that her contractions were going away. When I got home, she was hunched over our couch with a contraction. I said "Let's get your things and go to the hospital, if they send us home that's fine." She was still stubborn but said if there was another one like that we would go. Then we sat down to the movie with the boys.

I told Ben we needed to go. After a few last minute instructions for my mom and a call to the hospital we left. I texted the Primary Presidency, informing them I probably wouldn't be at church the next day. I texted Holly, to let her know we were finally headed to the hospital. Contractions didn't seem too bad in the car and I started to second guess myself. Thinking back, I don't know why I was so convinced this wasn't "it." I had called ahead to L&D, expecting to be treated with some urgency, given this being my 3rd baby, my Group B strep status but my nurse let me sit in the lobby for a few minutes and came out in the middle of a contraction. Something calmly spoken to the effect of "Ooohh, looks like you're having some good contractions." Little did this brand new nurse know...

Side bar: I don't usually tell medical people that I'm a nurse. I'd rather they not know. Especially people treating my kids...I want them to speak to me like I know nothing. I usually give myself away, asking in-depth questions. So, I didn't tell my nurse or anyone else, I was a nurse. Apparently, it says it somewhere in my chart from my OB because before I delivered they found out. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing that it's in my chart. My nurse was new. And I try really hard not to be critical because I was new once. It makes me sound like a grumpy old nurse but new RNs should not work a specialty straight out of school. I remember being told this in nursing school and I HATED hearing that. But it is SO true. That's another story for another time...

Anyway, she took me back to triage at 6pm. I was 5cm dilated. Contractions were intense to say the least. Laying on a gurney was agonizing. Especially trying to lay on my side with a huge belly, during a contraction...said belly was not supported with a pillow and having to keep still as she sticks an 18g needle in my wrist. Felt like my belly was trying to separate itself from my body. To her credit, she got my IV on the first poke. (I'll try to keep my nursing critique to a minimum. But in hindsight, I wish I had told her the things she should have done differently. Not to be mean but to be helpful. You never learn until some tells you.) But seriously, I stood up out of that bed as soon as I could. Things were getting serious. We left triage at 6:30pm.

We started to walk down the hall to a room. I had to stop in the hall for a contraction. I was trying so hard to be quiet...little moans as I dug my feet into the floor. Once in my room, it is kind of a blur. I remember standing beside the bed during one contraction...I was starting to get a lot more vocal. Ben was beside me, I know but other than that, I couldn't believe it. This was happening and fast. That contraction ended and I knew there was no epidural coming. I think I mumbled something about wanting to push but no one heard me. One thing I remember vividly...I remember thinking to myself as everyone seemed to be doing a million things other than paying attention to me. I remember thinking "Does no one notice this?! I am really in labor!" Another contraction hit and I started to yell. I'm honestly embarrassed to admit that. I was NEVER going to be THAT woman who was loud enough for people outside to hear. But it was involuntary. It seemed like the only thing I could do was yell. I apologized afterwards for it. When that contraction ended I made sure the whole room heard me "I really want to push!" And I remember Dr. Stemmerman saying "Then get in the bed!" I surprised myself with how quickly I jumped in.

(Ben) We had to stop twice from triage to our room, which was right around the corner. We walk in the room and get to the bed, Michelle hunched over the bed for another contraction. I held her and listened to the nurse call the doctor and talk about some random event that happened on their shift. I could tell Michelle was in a lot of pain and I was starting to worry. The contraction ended but seconds later another one came. Michelle started saying she needed to push and it hurt. I looked up at the two nurses in the room and said "Can we get some type of pain management here?!" I looked back at Michelle to help with the contraction. When that ended I looked back up and saw 8 new faces in our room and I knew this was happening now. The Doctor started getting her scrubs on as they brought in a baby warmer. I see the anesthesiologist come in the room. Dr. Stemmerman said "Don't bother, it won't even hit her veins before this baby is here." Here is were I officially freak out. I look at Michelle who still has the same determined and focus look on her face and I am thinking; "Is she insane?! Does she know what is going to happen?!?" I will freely admit that I felt a wave of panic for my poor 100lbs wife, whose last child was 9lbs, as the reality of no pain meds sunk in. I remember thinking "Ian was almost 10% her body weight! How big is this one going to be?!" I may have cried a bit, but that will remain between me and the other 8 strangers that stumbled into our room.

My nurse was seemingly vacant through most of this. All she could say to me was "breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth." I remembering thinking "I say that to my patients who are getting up out of bed after surgery...that is not applicable in this setting!" The RN orienting her kind of jumped in. She had found in my chart that I was a nurse and whispered a joke in my ear about being a nurse and this going so quickly. I am SO grateful for her. She essentially got in my face and told me I could do this. The reality of it all was starting to hit and I was overwhelmed. Ben said "Can we get some pain meds here?!" And the Dr responded, "By time they get in her IV, the baby will be here." Oh yeah, I was fully dilated by now.

Everyone seemed to jump into action and my room was immediately full of nurses. I started to push...it hurt but still felt so much better to push through the contractions. After a few pushes, my water finally broke. That's a funny story but some people may not want to know. Please ask me if you'd like to hear it! I didn't expect to push as long as I did. Ian was hardly 2 pushes and he was born...thank goodness I had an epidural for that 9lbs baby! But it couldn't have been more than 5 minutes of pushing. My only focus at this point was to push...it hurt but in my mind, the harder I pushed, the faster he was born, the quicker it would be over. So I was a bit surprised when the doctor told me to "reach down here" and she guided my hands under his arms and said "grab your baby!" And that may be too much information for some people and it wasn't something I ever expected or wanted to do. But it was special...and I lifted him up onto my chest.

(Ben) So at this point I fought the urge to crawl to the corner in the fetal position. I held her hand and just admired her. She never once said she couldn't do it, or complained about the pain. She knew what had to be done and did it. Truth be told, I will always look at her a little different from that, she was brave and determined and still beautiful as ever. I always knew I married right, but each time I get to see her thrive where I would whither, I fall more in love. I thought about something my brother once told me; "There is something very special about the woman who has your children." It can't be explained. As this moment of inspiration is happening before me (I was a crying mess now), I see her reach down and pull our handsome baby boy to her.

Adam Gregory Koval was born at 6:57pm...7lbs 1oz and 20inches long.

I had a natural labor and delivery. It was hard but I would do it again...anything is worth it for my babies. (On the other hand, I missed the epidural for the hours afterwards of my nurses mashing down on my belly...)

Adam was perfect in every way. His round little head...some dark hair. 10 fingers and 10 toes. Everyone was surprised by his quick arrival! But honestly, despite the little things I complain about...it was still perfect to me.

(Ben) Adam was the perfect little baby. Round head, very handsome. It is amazing me how love can grow with each kid. I am excited to see the man he becomes!

And some pictures...